#yearoftheABH (Part 2)

The year that I get shit done!

2014 has definitely... DEFINITELY... been an interesting year and we're like, what? Two months in? Really? I swear days have been flying by... I mean I've already had university orientation. Oh dear God I've already had university orientation?!

You know how school students get all enthusiastic for school after a long break? Yeah well I had that enthusiasm but I've seen my e-mails and the workload for week 1 is already freaking me out! WHAT ON EARTH IS A RETROPERITONEAL ORGAN?! No seriously I need an answer before Thursday, thanks!

Anyway, I'm going to have to get back up to speed with what it's like to be a student otherwise I definitely won't pass the assessment found in Week Three. Week. Bloody. Three. WHY ON EARTH WAS I SO ENTHUSIASTIC?!
Naw, I kid... I'm still extremely excited for university. New place, new people, new routine... It's so appealing! I've already toured most of the campus and it's really spacious in comparison to school grounds.

So how'd orientation go?

Glad you asked!

So my course introduction was given in one of the medical school's lecture theaters in order to seat the large amount of students. God damn there were a lot of students. Roughly 3,300 over three campuses. Of course, being the social butterfly that I am I took the very far left back hand corner to myself. Off to a great start, if I do say so myself!

Now the orientation itself...? UTTERLY BORING! Not worth typing out details! I say that because it was indeed a boring orientation... HOWEVER, it still contained valuable information about my course. They covered things like where we will be performing practical experience, what our uniforms look like (red and black- nothing special), what hospital placement will be like and so forth.

I'm getting ahead of myself but they said that they could place you on night shifts at hospitals and you just have to hack it in order to pass the course. Can't wait to be that guy who gets stuck on night shifts. It's not like I even like to sleep anyway.


So back to the orientation... Oh yeah! They give every new student a gift bag full of goodies such as energy drinks, junk food, coupons and condoms! Essential items for every student!

...I fucking love junk food.

So boom! Two months into the #yearoftheABH and we've had a taste of university life! I'm trying to think of anything particular I want to share but I prefer to keep most things on the down low... Until I at least have reason to share.

Take care all 3 people who read this blog!

OH WAIT YEAH I BUSTED MY LUNG AGAIN WHOOPS. I got sharp, shooting pains up my right arm while out yesterday so I went to the hospital and they found out my lung collapsed again. I hope it doesn't interfere with my university course or soccer. I'm a magnet for trouble, I swear!

How much are we talking here?

Last Thursday I was invited out to lunch by a few of my mates (oh, and Queen) to try something called Harry's Cafe De Wheels... Now, when I was told about this place I wasn't too convinced because all I was hearing was how great their sausages are. Personally, I'm not a huge fan of sausage (both innuendo and literal), so I don't really care for a kiosk that sells the "best sausages in town". I eventually caved to Michelle's invite and ended up tagging along with Tyrone, Anthony and Kimberly (oh, and Queen) to this random ass food kiosk in the middle of Goddamn nowhere... Otherwise known as Liverpool. It was a nice to catch up with Anthony considering how hard it is to go see him and how little we chat otherwise. I knew he was doing well when his T-shirt read "Snoop Diggity Dawg" (Long story short this was a team name related to cadets or flight academy... I forget which).

Michelle, being the qualified Asian female driver among the group, drove everyone apart from Anthony to this cafe. I came out of the ordeal with my limbs still attached to my body so I can't complain.

I was honestly expecting this place to be something different, like a roadside restaurant or something, but it is literally a refurbished kebab shop with the most Australian shit painted on the sides. Everyone ordered this glorified hot dog with mashed peas on top... I ordered a meat pie. This isn't America... We don't gorge on hot dogs in this country. Well, to be totally honest it was more of a pastry thing, but what difference does it make when the meat tasted like boot. The outside was good though. Mmmm.

So I'm guessing Krispy Kreme means something to most people. I'm one of those guys who would rather have something savoury over something sweet, which is why I never really bothered with KK. But yeah, the gang (and Queen) decided to pop into the KK for a dozen glazed donuts. Now, the KK was under total renovation so instead of closing the shop entirely they had a weird little setup with a van, several tables and the big ass umbrellas with the logos on top. This van had an entire cappuccino machine built into the back. Who even likes subwoofers? Real men shove a little bit of Italy in the back of their rides... Shit, that sounded gay. But yeah, KK after lunch for those thunder thighs and that ba-donkey-donk ass. By this point Anthony had to head off unfortunately.

Michelle mentioned earlier how she intended to check out Harvey Norman to browse their tablets. She isn't a fan of iPads but she had her eyes set on the Surface Pro. Now, this old asian employee, who was probably a Shogun back in his day, was the most cunning salesman I've seen in a Harvey Norman. "Tony", or as Michelle called him, "Kenny", instantly jumped into telling her why the Surface Pro is the best Goddamn invention this world has ever seen. You know about sliced bread, right? Heck, this tablet invented sliced bread. This tablet, because of it's ultra-modern design, has already cured cancer and AIDS. The only thing this tablet can't do is find Queen a guy she likes, but nothing's perfect.

But back to Tony... Mr Tony managed to hook all three girls into his spiel - Michelle, Queen and Tyrone Kimberly. According to Mr Tony the Surface Pro, on this particular day of this particular month of this particular year... Is like $300 off. INSTANTLY Michelle's eyes rolled dollar signs and the three of them formed a little huddle. At the end I swear they threw their hands in and screamed "Gooo TONY!". Somehow these three broke girls (Heh) managed to have $700 dollars lying around in their accounts, cards and bras. The best part though... The best bloody part is when they told Tony they need to get a breath of fresh air and think it over, which is perfectly fine...

Next thing we know we're sitting on a random lounge suite and they're calling up JB HI FI to see if they can beat Tony's deal. I'm not sure if that's being smart or just being cheap... But I would've loved to see Tony take on JB HI FI's offer.

JB HI FI didn't offer them shit.

But anyway, at the end of this fiasco Tony walks away with a commission of probably $1k+ and the three amigos each have some sort of Surface Pro party when they get home.




I love my iPad.

Btw - Queen and I are just mates. I prefer it that way so dw I'm not trying to get into her pants... I don't like Thai penis anyway. No hard feelings, beb.

Also - As much shit as I get for #yearoftheABH... It caught on real fucking quick. That's gonna be trending by the end of this year. Please continue.